Teardrops on my keyboard

I was listening to Taylor Swifts song Teardrops on My guitar. It just reminded me of my own "Drew" In the song she talks about this guy she's in love with, she hears all about this girl that he loves and he doensn't even now how much she loves him. Thats my life all right, my own Drew, which I will refer to as Nick.

Nick is my best frined and also ex. Were close friends and have a lot in common. But I've been in love with him since Freshman year. But me and my stupid self can't seem to say that I love him. I wanted to when we were going out, but he dumped me before I ever had a chance. The second time we went out it happened again and he still didn't know how mad for him I was. Now Nick is dating my other good friend lets call her Naomi. Naomi and Nick have been having a little trouble in their relationship and I've been the middle of the whole thing. I've talked Nick out of breaking up with Naomi about 10 times already. I think it was a good idea, and I've given Naomi some advice as to avoid near disasters. Tonight was the one thing that just killed me.

Nick and Naomi have had a real hard vacation, she was sick for a while, Nicks been getting mixed messages from her and its all gone down hill. I asked him what he said to her last and he read me a beautiful tect message about how much he loved her. It went along these lines....


"Baby, I never wanted to hurt you. Your the sweetest and best gf ever. You realed me in with your beauty and personality. You've been a great friend to me, but an even greater girlfriend. I love you baby and everything about you. How your eyes sparkle and how your eyes light up. When you smile I can feel myself grow light. You brighten my day and my mood no matter what you do."

I heard him read it to me and I felt tears jerk into my eyes. My heart felt like it was shreded into a million peices. I could never get that kind of reaction from him ever even when we were dating and it kinda hurt. I sometimes think Nick forgets that I'm his ex, and I sometimes think back to that time. I don't now whats wrong with me. It was over between us nearly three years ago, and I just cant seem to let go of that. I still love him and I really wish I could be with him. But I want his happyness more than I want my own. I don't now why but I keep helping him with Naomi and it kills me inside when he tells me things like that.

I dont now what I should do about it or what to say. Should I just keep helping him and Naomi or should I just step back from being both their frined and let my own wounds heal???? any suggestions