Sadness

My cat just died today...he had kidney failure and went into shock right in my arms. So sad right this moment and Im sorry but I wont be writing for quiet some time....R.I.P Buttons you are missed

Is Tired

I slept in on my SAT day...my mom wont stop screaming at me.

"You'll never get a good job, never pass a class if you do this."

One mistake and Im already casted as the failure. Its so typical. No she had to have done it on purpose...she couldnt have possibly not heard her alarm clock or was so tired from yesterday that she slept in. One mistake give me one and all of a sudden its a huge deal, the world is ending OMFG.

So tired of the run around. Im starting not to care...Pass....Fail.....starting to make no diffrence to me if Im gonna be screamed at over the little shit in life. She says oh and you wanna act all depressed. Im not depressed about my grades, not at all of my situation at home. Its constantly being told that Im not gonna get anywhere is what bugs the livng shit outta be. and most kids will say it to. They dont relize that when a Parent starts going off on them instead of just being calm that thats when we start to shut down. Nobody likes being screamed at, nobody likes being talked to as if there a dog. Nobody likes it so why submit a child to it? To all the ppl with parents out there this question is for you...

You yell at your kid huh? Do you do it to get a point across or do you do it so you can feel better?

Most parents yell at their kids cuz they were yelled at as children. Or even worse like with my SOB of a father he was a spoiled brat all the way around. My grandma spoiled him rotton and thus he excects everyone to submit to him and do as he says when he throws a temper tantrum. Thats not gonna work on me, If I wanna be heard then damnit Imma be heard. He wants to scream and cry like a kid...then Imma persue him as if he were a child. Not the right thing, but you know what Im sick and tired of being the adult. Hes supposed to act like one not me. And in comes my mother I love the woman to death but she is such a....Busy body.....


Swearing up and down she knows whats best cause she went to college....reminds me of Plankton on Spongebob Squarepants....

Planktons voice. "You cant do this to me Krabs!"

"I WENT TO COLLEGE!!!!!!!!"

I wanna go to college too but the way shes acting makes me wanna pull my own eyes out. Shes so up there that she cant see down her own nose. I mess up yes, but I have ACT and Imma make sure Im up for that one in a heart beat.

Is just tired and wanna cry and hit something right this second. Dont care if I hurt myself, apparently nobody else does either. Dont care if I just fade away. I want the leering eyes to stop. I want to be left alone and not judged but that is far to much to ask in a house where everyone gets looked at as if they were under a magnifying glass, searching for every possible flaw

Im sorry....Heres some more work

I have some terrific new. Besides the fact that I am back online now...YAY! I have been working on my book. My computer has crashed a couple times on me but not to fear all of its backed up on the oooold noodle..lol....but I am sorry to those who have been reading and to the question of yes I am all good now, resloved my problem with that so called best friend and friend of mine. Im just choosing to stay away untill graduation. I have a book Im working on for 4 or so years. Angels Blessing voices from the past...Its coming along nicely and all I hope its good enough to be published soon :-)

Here is a little excerpt of what its all about.

Daniel felt his lungs slowly convulge as he gasped for air. Running threw sand was like running threw water, you worked hard but got nowhere quick. He looked ahead at Carmen and gave a frustrated grunt. She made it look so easy! But no time to simmer as another explosion sounded behind them. "COME ON LININN MOVE IT!" Carmens voice reached behind him and he tried to move with all his might ahead. Looking back was an instant mistake. A huge mongeled horde of captors looked back at them. Cutlasses drawn and waving as to catch them. They were quickly drawing closer and closer with every passing second. Daniel kicked into high gear and started to spead further and further until her was neck and neck with Carmen. Her amber hair flagged around her like a halo as he eyes kept peircingly to the horizon. She never missed a beat though while Daniel did, tripping every which way with the wind blowing sand in their faces. Blindly running to the peir as to seak a ship soon going out to sea, anything to get away. "We can't fight them here." Carmen had exclaimed to him before he even had a chance to get into a fighting position. He knew she was right, if they did it would spell disaster beyond what they could imagine.

Time was on their side as they saw a ship in the distance from the port. Its sails were up, it was about to leave! Finding new inspiration was here and Daniel kept going on, his legs and arms felt far to heavy for him now. His lungs screamed for him to stop but he knew it would be his doom if he did. He felt his body slow and Carmens firm hand on his back, she had slowed to push him on. In the distance he could see the steps yo port and to the ship. The last hand was boarding and with it, Carmen and Daniel.

"We made it!" He sighed and weeazed. Wiping away the sweat from his face he looked down, the boarding plank had been drawn and he beamed down at the angrey faces. Town officials mostly, but he was glad to be at sea again, nothing was more familiar than the spray of the sea, he had taken to it quickly, almost like a long lost calling. He smiled and looked around, whiching to take cover. Being out in the open on a strange ship was anything but wise.

"Now to find our Anne." Carmen sighed leaning on the railing, wiping her hair from her face. Daniel had almost forgotten why he had come here in the first place. To find the illustrious Anne Bonny of the Caribbean. She held the key to not only their lives, but their future. "Where should we start?"

"How about right here?"

Turning in surprise, Daniel and Carmen both came face to face with Anne bonny. Her Raven black hair flowed around her shoulders with her emerald green eyes sharper than any sword forged in all the seven seas. Daniel felt his knees buckled from his endevor before, but he refused to fall, he needed to make sure if he needed them before they were thrown off the side of her own ship.


..............................to be continued.....................................


Hope you all like this one. I worked on this for a while, I need to do some historic checking before I do anmything else. But I hope everyone com,ments on it, tell othersd need more readers and cant wait to hear from all of u SEE YA! :)

Face like a roadmap

I have this wanna be, shes a year older than me and is dating my ex boyfriend (who is also my ex best friend as well cause he wanna follow every single little bitch fit she wanna have.) Anyway she wants to get at me and shit like I the one holding a grudge against her. Im so done over her dumb ugly ass. She is a bit of a stalker, she likes to look at my status every 5 minutes to see if I've changed it at all. And every time I do she changes hers sayin something rite at me. I have this other friend named Lydia, shes a sweet girl and she's a model. She said that her fathers connections will get her this part in a play. I said well thats not necisarily true. She gets mad at me and we haven't talked in a while. She txt me recently telling me she was sorry and that I was right she didnt get the part. Now heres the trouble....

I have a myspace and I said on it, "**** is waiting. You dont wanna belive me thats fine whatever I can't make you. But when the fireworks go off I'll be the first one laughing." I was talking about LYDIA!!! And this two faced backstabing hoe wanna bug me on her status saying, "wow people (I'll give you a guess who shes talkin too) crazy puttin dey business out dere no 1 need 2 kno dat shit." Im like whoa I now this trick is not tryin to slick. She should be the one talking. The suicidal bitch is a hap hazard with her dumb ass, face like a fuckin road map. I was so pissed when I saw that I couldnt see straight thats why Im typing at the speed of lighht rite now. Im just about done with the bitch. Im gonna say this she is a tru hater that is all.

The only way she can get a guy is by twitchin her hips and makin em look at her ass. Meanwhile none of em respect her. I feel sorry for her cause once they relize shes got no personality they dump her because she becomes 2 much of a bitch to handel, or she refuses to give it up to em.


Cant wait for college then I can relax

nEW CHAPTER OF THE PRINCE OF ICE

Tell me what cha think plz



The meeting wasn't to take place in a few hours time; Dimitri looked at his watch, "Not until 8:00." He muttered as he crossed into a nearby Starbucks. Spotting a table far in the back Dimitri took in the smell of coffee and the mild music and conversation.
A waitress with bright red hair and blue eyes came up to him wearing the usual uniform he saw all Star Bucks employs wearing. She flashed him a huge grin and took out a pad and pen from her pocket.
“Well then sugar what it will be?” she was obviously southern from her accent. Dimitri found himself smiling back at her and ordering his usual goal of a black coffee. Eying him over with a twinkle of uncertainty in her eyes she put away her pencil and pad. “Aren’t you a little young to be drink black coffee?” she asked playfully as she walked away reading his drink. “If only you knew.”
Dimitri would need all the awareness he could get and the buzz of coffee was enough to wake him in these e wee hours. Watching the cars pass by he thought of tactics to use and what not to do. The horde would be gathering in Central park at about 9, so he needed to be ready. What bothered him though was the type of monsters that would be there, they varied from place to place. Here in New York there were plenty of beasts all around some even in disguise. Dressed as normal people down the street or as a next door neighbor, even now in 2008 they blended in always in a crowd. The trick was on how you to see threw there disguises to what they truly were. Dimitri greeted his coffee with a smile and tip for the woman, the spoils of war.
Monsters came in all shapes and sizes. Some were as large as houses others were the size of any mortal man. Dresses and clothed in normal things, (or what they considered normal). Auras linger around everyone, and as a Demi-god they could see them. Dimitri looked around the passing sidewalk and saw the Auras of others. Blue was a natural color meaning peace, red was a harsh color meaning hostility and even evil. Evil lingered in everyone’s heart there was no denying that. Monsters had black auras which meant evil to an extreme, and walked around with feelers to sense said auras of humans. They lived off the evil within people and needed it to flourish, trouble was this is New York not everyone was a saint. Draining his coffee he looked up at the clock, it was seven already. Paying at the front desk Dimitri made his way out. The waitress that he had just talked to peered up at him,
“Be careful.”
Her words caught him off guard and made him take another look at her. Her name tag said Dotty so he nodded politely as exited.
“She was just being nice” he reassured himself as he kept on down the block and first catching sight of the park. There he saw them, it was a group of aura-less people obviously monsters. Monsters could sense a Demi-God so he kept his distance as he saw them enter the park, quickly chatting away.
Taking his weapon out of his pocket and looking up at the setting sun he set his sights on his targets and slowly followed.

Teardrops on my keyboard

I was listening to Taylor Swifts song Teardrops on My guitar. It just reminded me of my own "Drew" In the song she talks about this guy she's in love with, she hears all about this girl that he loves and he doensn't even now how much she loves him. Thats my life all right, my own Drew, which I will refer to as Nick.

Nick is my best frined and also ex. Were close friends and have a lot in common. But I've been in love with him since Freshman year. But me and my stupid self can't seem to say that I love him. I wanted to when we were going out, but he dumped me before I ever had a chance. The second time we went out it happened again and he still didn't know how mad for him I was. Now Nick is dating my other good friend lets call her Naomi. Naomi and Nick have been having a little trouble in their relationship and I've been the middle of the whole thing. I've talked Nick out of breaking up with Naomi about 10 times already. I think it was a good idea, and I've given Naomi some advice as to avoid near disasters. Tonight was the one thing that just killed me.

Nick and Naomi have had a real hard vacation, she was sick for a while, Nicks been getting mixed messages from her and its all gone down hill. I asked him what he said to her last and he read me a beautiful tect message about how much he loved her. It went along these lines....


"Baby, I never wanted to hurt you. Your the sweetest and best gf ever. You realed me in with your beauty and personality. You've been a great friend to me, but an even greater girlfriend. I love you baby and everything about you. How your eyes sparkle and how your eyes light up. When you smile I can feel myself grow light. You brighten my day and my mood no matter what you do."

I heard him read it to me and I felt tears jerk into my eyes. My heart felt like it was shreded into a million peices. I could never get that kind of reaction from him ever even when we were dating and it kinda hurt. I sometimes think Nick forgets that I'm his ex, and I sometimes think back to that time. I don't now whats wrong with me. It was over between us nearly three years ago, and I just cant seem to let go of that. I still love him and I really wish I could be with him. But I want his happyness more than I want my own. I don't now why but I keep helping him with Naomi and it kills me inside when he tells me things like that.

I dont now what I should do about it or what to say. Should I just keep helping him and Naomi or should I just step back from being both their frined and let my own wounds heal???? any suggestions

Sick and Tired

When you seem to look at family what do you see? I see nothing honest to god. Its like being held at gun point with nothing to do but follow the orders given. Standards are toubled even tripled at times and it doesnt seem at all fair. I do what my parents ask and put my 2 cents in every so often and I get my head bitten off in a fury of a second. Im a 16 year old girl. Its not the 18th century where as women werent allowed to make their own desicions and open their mouths. What the hell do they expect of me, shut my mouth, get married and have children? Not happening. My brother has ADHD, and he was prescribed pills to calm him down, (Ritilin.) And it was going great until she took him off the stuff. He was on the loswest dosage, and yu can grow out of ADHD, but she didnt want him all drugged up. He wasnt drugged up he was calm for a good month. I had peace and quite and I miss thous days so much at times. Now he's 11 years old, hyper as hell, the mind of a 6 year old and driving me insane.

I never permit anyone to curse at me like their somebody bigger than me. I may be young but I have self respect. This little boy had the nerve of calling me a bitch, I was 2 seconds away from killing him and making it look like an accident. He's the image of my father, rude loud overly childish and thinks that the world is on their bec and call. He pulls that with my mom and my dad but not with me. Hes such a little punk, ready to say the first thing to anyone and everyone who would listen. But the minute someone calls him on his shit he backs down. I do not repeat DO NOT like little fake asses and my brother is the definition of fake. He makes it seem that he has the whole world to think about but in truth hes nothing but a little nobody, and with his frame of mind thats all he will ever be.

If you fail the second grade, and are failing the 5th grade their is something wrong with you. He could be the centerfold of Americas falling grade point average in males. Hes the image of our plummiting sources. We as Americans have gone waayy downhill and its not making things any better. A fruugal mistake on our own parts. Not all of America are like this, don't get me wrong. Some of us have risen above the norm and gone to exceptional hights. But I can't wait to leave this house, finally into a world where people don't expect me to be a silent little figure head for people to push around

New Story

I have a thing for greek mythology..I've loved it since the 6th grade. Recently I was struck by pure genious and had a brain bomb!!!! I have a mythology story, set in New York today. Its still in the works and nothing to fancy or special but I think its good. I have the first chapter here, comment and enjoy ppl. :-)

Chapter 1: Threw Dreams


"Come on Dimitri your too slow!" the little girl called ahead as he staggered to keep up. It was a hot day even for New York Standards; kids were practically hanging out their apartment windows trying to catch illusive existent breeze so to say.

Dimitri looked ahead to Valory his sister as she stopped near the bus stop up ahead. She was 15 years old, and looked just like mom. They were going to be late again because of him, and this time Valory had sworn to him that if she was late ever again she would make him sorry. Hiking up his bag he ran over nearly falling head long into the bus stop pole.


"Slow down small fry!" she laughed as he straitened himself out. She smiled down at him and helped him fix the strap of his book bag before the bus pulled in to a stop. They both boarded the cool city bus and took a seat near the front. The ride was long so Dimitri found himself dreaming on about today.


"Today is my day right Valory!" Dimitri smiled up at his older sister. Today was his birthday and he wanted everything to be perfect, today was the day he was turning five. Valory looked down o her little brother and smiled, he blue eyes lightening up. "Yup today’s your day all right, so don't mess it up!" she teased as the bus slowly halted at their stop. Taking his hand she eased him out of the bus and onto the sidewalk.


Harwood Elementary school was a massive swarm of kids. All of them talking and laughing. Dimitri went to school here while Valory went to school at Harwood High just a few blocks down. Valory hurried him along the crowd so he wouldn't be late enough as he was.
Outside the classroom Valory stopped him from going in, "Listen Dimitri I might not be going home with you today okay." Dimitri looked up at her, her eyes were clouded over she was thinking about something.

"Why?"

She looked down on him and smiled, "Well it might have something to do with your birthday party, but I guess you'll have to find out all on your own now won't you?"

The bell rang as she turned on her heel and walked back out the door. Se waved goodbye and smiled back at him as she left. He wished he had called her back, he wished he had said something more. If he had know the next time he would see her face would be from a mangled corpse, bloodied and tone to pieces he would have called her back to him.


Dimitri awoke to My Chemical Romance on his radio. For a while he just lay there staring up at the ceiling as My Chemical Romance "Helen" dragged on. Cars and traffic could be heard building up outside his window, as he dragged himself from his bed and to the bathroom. Flicking on the light he stepped over to the mirror and began is daily ritual of washing up. Staring back in the mirror he could see himself, no different than he went to sleep. His skin, tanned to a sort of light bronze, his hair black long and curly. His eyes were a deep sea green and his mouth twisted into a permanent frown. He walked back into his room and threw on a pair of old faded jeans and a black tee. Today was his day, the day he was born and everyone else died.


He frowned at the recent dream he had, it was of Valory again, he had tried already so hard banish her from his thoughts. He was already haunted about it; he never forgave himself for destroying her.


A sudden knock at the door made him snap back from his thoughts.


"Yo Vane. Rents due, when you gonna pay up!" Mr. Rossolo the land lord said as Dimitri walked from the bathroom threw the living room to the front door. Peaking out threw the chain he sighed, the fat Old Italian was making him pay for this rat whole he called an apartment.


"This afternoon Mr. Rossolo you know I keep my word." he said calmly as he shut the door again before letting him have an answer. Looking around him, the walls were an ugly gray and falling apart. Walking back into the living room he plopped himself down onto the old couch and looked around. He'd have to move soon, to track the horde he'd been seeing to for the last few weeks. A horde of monsters have been accumulating in the area and it was his job to stop it.


Dimitri laughed a little, "A job, like I applied for it" he thought darkly as he reached over from the poor beaten up couch onto the end table. There he picked up a frame. It was a simple picture; it was of him, his mother and his sister Valory. Around the three of them was his grandparents his aunts and uncles, the whole family was there. He was about four when this picture was taken, and he remembered only a few fragments of that day. The warm sun, the smell of sea water and his mothers laugh was all he could pull up as he placed the frame back down and started on his work.


Taking extra care to sharpen his blade Dimitri worked diligently. It had taken him years to perfect his technique on swords and daggers. At the wholesome age of 15 he knew how to slice and kill any living creature. Normal guns and weaponry won't work on them it just fizzled up in there aura. And mortals couldn't see them because they were to blind or ignorant to see at all.
But Dimitri wasn't mortal; he was a Demi-god. And he was a killer; he knew that he had already seen countless die.


"Not at my hands" he reminded himself as he opened the door his bag filled with the essentials. Mr. Rossolo was outside his door waiting for him. A stout man no bigger than Dimitri he stepped in front of him blocking his way.


"And where do you think your going bub!? Rent is rent so are you gonna pay up or what?" He snarled


With black greasy hair and a little pug like face and eyes he wasn't that much of a threat, but Dimitri didn't want to hear it today. With a swift snap of his fingers Mr. Rossolo's eyes lost focus as he stood in front of him.


"What are you talking about Mr. Rossolo my rent isn't due for another month" Dimitri said innocently as he side stepped him and went out the dirty apartment doors.


"Oh yeah right" was all he could mutter but Dimitri was already gone.
........................to be continued...............................

Wow

Am I wrong to feel like I am betrayed. Not so recently my bf for a year dumped me via text message. You can imagine it, I was crushed!!! But he was sooo damn calm as if he didnt care. Now a month and a few days later he gets back with his other ex. Mind you he talked about her constantly. "Oh shes ugly." "Shes a whore, and dirty." I didn't want him to say that because their are two sides to an entire story. I cant only imagine what he says to her about me. I write to keep my mind distracted. This is needed by a huge distraction anyway. I have written a bit but not enought for a chapter. I just feel so betrayed and vulnerable right now. He was my world, I said I loved him and when I say that I mean it. I dont throw that word around like some girls do. I was willing to put my traveling vollege life on hold so I could be with him when his life got to difficult.

His mother drinks and is an alcoholic, she is a bit hard on him and I was willing to set my whole life plan away for him. We had been together for a year and the day before he dumps me I was even thinking of giving him my virginity. Thank god I didn't do it that day. Ive come to a crossroad, men are lying, cheating pigs who have no sense of self and pity towards the women they crush. Im only a teen, but I now what this choice is, Im not gonna date untill I'm 20. Maybe then the braincells will develope in a guy I meet and maybe then I'll be happy with someone.